Ever want to re-write the classics? I mean, with everything you are learning as a writer/author you can do better. Yeah. I don’t know about that always. Today though, as I stood brushing my teeth it came to me. Show vs tell – again! I know. I am obsessed. It happens to be the one thing that was killing my writing above everything else.
Sure I still have grammar mistakes and odd sentences here and there. Sure I sometimes think everyone is in my head. But – show vs tell was killing me from getting a publisher.
So let’s look at the sentence and rhyme “there was an old lady who lived in a shoe.”
There are a million ways to write any sentence. But I think this rhyme is riddled with tell. Here is my attempt at making it more “showy.”
An old lady live in a shoe. The seams were bursting. Children were everywhere. Confusion and desperation consumed her.
Or
An old lady lived in a shoe. She balanced a kid in each arm and watched the countless others run amuck.
Well it was worth a try. This rhyme wouldn’t be what it is, written any other way. It’s still an example of what authors are told daily, what not to do. So good luck. I hope you find inspiration or a laugh from this today.
michelle ziegler 