Fighting the Demons

Is May the month of struggle for anyone else? Or maybe it is the Friday the Thirteenth thing, plus a full moon. I never believed in that kind of thing before, but this week has been a rough week of Mondays. In fact, I missed Tuesday altogether.

I need help. No, really. I need it. I struggle with the demands of life from kids, to cleaning, to working, to wanting to read a book. Where exactly is writing happening? It’s not. It’s fighting with some demons that say ‘this is never going to go anywhere” and “no one actually reads what you write anyway.”

It’s hard when reviews are so daunting to pull out of readers. It’s hard to sit and write when entire stories play out in my head a million times better than I write it.

So, there you have it. That little doubt monster is back.

Pushing it all aside, I am doing as Taylor Swift does. “Shake it off.” I am going to start the synopsis. I feel like I need something to remind me where I was going. I don’t do outlines – too many rules to follow or change. A synopsis though is a great highlight of all the big parts of your book. I hope this will focus my energy and make me stop doubting. Besides, I love writing. Who cares if no one writes it, other than I would love someone to come visit me in my made up worlds.

 

 

Mishmash Monday

 

Thanks Kelly Hashway  for mishmash Monday.

So Mishmash Monday is where you post what’s on your mind.  Here is what is on my mind and please feel free to share what is on yours.

1. Okay – the only marketing I will do today. For the Love of Murphy is on sale until the 31st in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day. Go get a $.99 copy before it is too late!  Click here.

1. I am neck deep in taxes-for those in the USA, isn’t tax season fun?
2. I am working on a short story for a new anthology. I am giving sneak peeks in my online group Michelle’s Virtual Watercooler.  Come join in the fun! I promise it’s fun and once we get 15 people I will do a giveaway.  I plan to do giveaways a lot actually.
3. I just finished reading a new novella and need to review it.  Problem is I don’t know where to begin or what to write.  I liked it for sure, but it wasn’t what I had hopped. I hate that.
4. Over the weekend I watched Into the Woods and loved it – until the end.  WTF. Seriously, unless you are Disney I don’t think you can get away with endings like that.  Bleck. Anyone else see it? What were your thoughts?
5. SPRINGS IT FINALLY HERE in Denver that is. Thank goodness. I think I am done with snow!

Now to you, that is enough from me for one day.  What is on your mind today?

 

New Year and a New …

I didn’t set any goals this past New Years eve. The main reason is that I normally set myself up for failure.  Why do we do that to ourselves?  So although I am not setting up goals for the entire year and expecting myself to meet them, I am going to set some monthly goals to keep me going.  They will all be achievable goals though.  So here it goes-

For January:

1. I will finish my editing and get to the third draft of my current WIP.  I’ve posted a few snippets on facebook if you are interested.

2. I will wake up at the same time every morning and work until my short little dae-er, children wake up.  This could mean handling the day on a few hours of sleep.  I need consistency.  If it isn’t the best time, I will adjust it next month.

3.   I will find another freelance position. Web site design and resume writing is great, but I need one more source of income.  Any ideas?

4. My house will remain a shade better then last year.  I am going to set the goal of keeping the kitchen island cleaned off.  Sad goal I know.

 

And those folks are the goals i am setting for this month to try and improve my life. Did you do a new years resolution or do set mini goals for yourself throughout the year?

 

Mishmash Monday

Thanks Kelly Hashway  for mishmash Monday.

So Mishmash Monday is where you post whats on your mind.  Here is what is on my mind and please feel free to share what is on yours.

1. I am in the Happy Holidays Blog Hop! You can enter my giveaway  here, or check out the post here.

 

2.  I do not have to go into jury duty tomorrow!!!!  ROCK ON!!! I know it’s my civic duty, but I am super happy to not have to go in. My husband can’t walk and we have two little kids.  That was going to be one awful day!  I am thinking that this was our good luck after having to deal with some pretty major expenses recently.

3.  I doing resumes for a part time job right now and am going to pursue getting my certification soon.  Just add one more thing into my day 🙂

4.  Books! I am reading How to Seduce a Fireman right now, and somehow this book has gotten rid of my “writers block.”  Therefore my own story is flowing again too.

5. Last but not least, we survived Christmas. Just barely. My Christmas village never got up and the house wasn’t perfect, but we survived.  The lasagna actually turned out too.  Go me!

6. Check out my sidebar for new blog hops coming up. If you blog sign up. If you are a fan, mark your calendars!

 

That’s it for me at the moment.  Share your thoughts on life.  How were your holidays this year?

Mishmash Monday or Messed It Up On Monday – Tons on Tuesday

Kelly Hashway has a great idea – mishmash Monday.  I’ve envied this idea forever.  Well folks, she encourages people to participate with her now.  Too bad i fell flat on that.  So although this is a mishmash Monday post, I’m renaming it Messed It Up On Monday – Tons on Tuesday.

So Mishmash Monday is where you post whats on your mind.  Here is what is on my mind and please feel free to share what is on yours.

1. Facebook is falling into the whole pitfalls of greed.  I am sure you have seen all the posts going around and the changes being speculated about.  I already barely reach most of my “followers” so I am buying into Tsu.  You can find me here if you want to try something  like Facebook-but not.

2.  I just finished Echo Shea’s Light a Candle for the Beast and Aj Nuest’s A Furious Muse. I have posted reviews for Light a Candle for the Beast and will be doing so for A Furious Muse soon.  Both are great novella’s.

3.  A great deal on a book right now is by Vonnie Davis.  At the time of this post, A Highlands Obsession was on sale for .99!

4.  I am still pondering if i write a novella or dive all in and commit to full length books only. We all have our dreams, but I don’t want to be out the publishing circle too long… okay insert snicker here – I’d hate to let down my fans.  <cough>

5. My husband is having surergy on Thursday and will be down for 2 to 3 weeks.  I am hosting his family for the holiday (Christmas).  I might break down and start crying.  My house is a disaster and my kids are a mess on a good day.  I am so toast this year I think.

That’s it for me at the moment.  Share your thoughts on life.

The Four Letter Word – Fun Fact or Not on Friday

There are a lot of four letter words.  remove your mind from going down the dark tunnel-or the gutter.  Seriously stop it!  Okay.  Back on track now.  I find it interesting that several very important words that shape our lives are 4 letters.  Love and fear are two that I think can shape people and how they handle life.

As a child I knew a lot of fear.  Fear of failure, fear of getting lost, fear of change, fear of being unwanted, fear, fear, fear. I was afraid of everything.  I actually went to a teacher in the sixth grade and requested to have a separate role in the class so that I was never be put on the spot during class.  I was so afraid of ridicule.

Well as an adult those fears stayed and grew worse until my life could be boiled down to one problem-I wasn’t living, I was hiding.  Writing has become my outlet.  In away I still hide behind my words, but at the same time my fear gives me plots and imperfect heroines and heroes.

Why do I share a huge flaw in my character so openly in my blog and in my writing?  I hope it shows someone, anyone, that sometimes our worst bits of humanity are what make life interesting.  No one wants to read about a perfect person.

Good news for my readers. I haven’t outgrown all my fears.  Some are soul deep, so I guess that means more reading material for you 🙂

Words to live by though-learn to control your fear so that it never controls you.

NaNoWriMo -Why I Don’t

It’s that time of year again.  The NaNo craze is in full swing.  In fact, it’s been for several weeks. So, have you wondered if I was participating?  Why there have been no status updates? The answer is, no I’m not. I don’t ever do NaNo.

Let’s clear the air.  It isn’t’ because I think I am better then it.  I am not.  It’s not because I couldn’t use something to push me to get my books done.  I need tons of help. The issue is, I’d be setting myself up to fail. I’d much rather set up goals I can meet.  I have two kids and am trying to build a few businesses.  I write when I can.  So good luck to all that partake.  I may join you in a few years.

So what is my goal for my novel to be through draft one and maybe draft two?  Christmas.  My husband is taking some needed vacation that I hope means I get some writing done.  We shall see. I love him, but sometimes he’s simply a third kid.

So for those who are fans of my writing (please tell me there is at least one of you,) I will be posting bits of my new story on facebook.  Go like my page if you haven’t, http://www.facebook.com/michellezieglerauthor.

For my fellow writers.  Do you Nano and why?

It’s Getting Spooky

It’s one day to Halloween! I am sucker for Halloween movies, or rather ANYTHING festive.  It’s still not Christmas, but I love it.

I’ve been looking forward to Houcs Pocus, Casper, and ABC Family’s 13 nights of Halloween.  For those not in the US, sorry for being so specific.  One thing I love though, that all countries can appreciate, are cemeteries.

I don’t love them for the morbid sentiments they represent.  I don’t really love current cemeteries either. I love the history in older plots.  Europe has amazing old cemeteries.  So do a lot of the older states in the US, those pre-civil war.  Granted, it’s neat to see a lot of the old west headstones too, like Calamity Jane.  History is everywhere and sometimes the dead are the best ones to tell the story.  What the story is though, can be a mystery.

I have a new release coming out tomorrow.  Garden of Souls. It’s part of the Spooktacular Seducations Anthology.  The inspiration behind my story is actually my old neighborhood.  The cemetery I envisioned is very real, and so is the carriage house.  Granted, I don’t think the carriage house I used to babysit in was really haunted.  Well, that’s what I tell myself these days 🙂

So here are some photos by my dear friend Cheryl Fundakowski.  I would hug her for taking these photos of Hillside Cemetery.  I just don’t live close enough. It has civil war veteran’s buried here among so many more. 

Stop by tomorrow for a whole bunch of giveaways for the new release.

Finding the Next Step -IWSG

 

 

Oh for the love! It is Wednesday. And that means it’s time! Time for insecurities!!  Well don’t I have a lot.

I may not finish my book that I am pitching this weekend.

I probably won’t sell the books I am bringing to the conference I am volunteering at.

I have no idea what I will do when Unemployment runs out.

What if no one needs a website?

Well hello fear of failure. I was really curious where you were.  Right on cue.

There are those days. Lots and lots of them for me lately.  I have no idea how to keep up with authors I love.  Making sure I promote them. Making sure I read posts.  I don’t like letting people down.  Right now though, I have a lot to focus on in my life.  Job searches are not fun. They suck so much time from your day.

The thing is though, seeing others succeed and find happiness fuels my desire to push aside the evil little bug in my ear telling me I will fail. I still need more hours in a day and a lot of understanding friends.

If I fear failure too much, I indeed will fail. But instead, if I use my fears to improve myself, well- I just might succeed.

  How do you handle the fear of failure?  How to rise above it?

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Visit other bloggers in the Insecure Writers Support Group !  (A blog hop that posts the first Wednesday of every month, founded by Head Ninja Captain Alex J. Cavanaugh.)  Thanks to his co-hosts this month too!

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer – aim for a dozen new people each time.

 

Throw Back Thursday-My First Publication

This week was the release of a FREE short story of mine.  In case you missed it, you can go here.

What are your dreams and have you been chasing them for years?  Or have you really not started to chase them yet?

I’ve been writing forever.  I’ve found poems from grade school,  short stories from high school, and random chicken scratch from goodness knows when.  I simply love to write. I love to visit my own worlds, or see women over come struggles we may all have faced, or maybe something we could all face. I love the escape to have a small break from reality.

So all that being said, I just found the first poem that my mother sent out for me.  It was published in a collection of poems.  At the time I didn’t care.  I never had a thought of grandeur.  It was not a reality be a writer.  That was too frivolous to dream to think about in my family.  Don’t worry.  My mother is a closest dreamer though.  So somehow at ten I was published in some collection.  It meant nothing then, but today it makes me smile that I am revisiting a happy path.

So throw back Thursday.  Anything you are coming back around to that is making you smile? Making you feel like you just might be on the right path in life?