There was an Old Lady Who … Wait Stop Telling Me.

Ever want to re-write the classics?  I mean, with everything you are learning as a writer/author you can do better.  Yeah.  I don’t know about that always.  Today though, as I stood brushing my teeth it came to me.  Show vs tell – again!   I know. I am obsessed. It happens to be the one thing that was killing my writing above everything else.   

Sure I still have grammar mistakes and odd sentences here and there.  Sure I sometimes think everyone is in my head.  But – show vs tell was killing me from getting a publisher.

So let’s look at the sentence and rhyme “there was an old lady who lived in a shoe.”

There are a million ways to write any sentence.  But I think this rhyme is riddled with tell.  Here is my attempt at making it more “showy.”

An old lady live in a shoe.  The seams were bursting. Children were everywhere. Confusion and desperation consumed her.

Or

An old lady lived in a shoe. She balanced a kid in each arm and watched the countless others run amuck.

Well it was worth a try. This rhyme wouldn’t be what it is, written any other way. It’s still an example of what authors are told daily, what not to do. So good luck. I hope you find inspiration or a laugh from this today.

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