Rev Your Engine

Up a creek - in the river of wordsLately my writing engine resembles that of a stalled motor boat. I feel like I am in the center of a massive lake with little sight of how to get back to land. I know the answer. I need to just dive in and start swimming. What I want to do though, is to fix the engine and go full speed ahead.

NOTE: I did not say ocean.  I am going to see a lake as the glass half full, at least I know that no matter which way I go there is indeed land.

I don’t seem to have enough time to work full time, keep my house – uh organized, raise a child, be pregnant with another, make sure my husband knows I still love him and sleep. There is no mention on writing in that small list of daily activities is there?

I’d love to make a career change to something more satisfying but I don’t think that I know where to start. I would love a job involving writing, but at home. I do some technical writing but in an office and it gets mingled with a million other jobs. I debate if I went back to school could I learn to copy-write, or copy-write edit? Could I learn to edit at all? Could I find a job that would use technical writing? Well for those who depend on their income, a career change is a stressful prospect and not one takes lightly. The issue I have is that I am not a risk taker. I sort of feel like I am back in highschool, where is my career mentor now?

Well aside from not loving what I do for a living, like most other humans, I am so busy that my dream seems to be taking a back seat. Writing is what grounds me. Even if no one were to ever read my stories I would still write them because they are my outlet. I am sure most other writers feel this way too. So when I say I am stalled out from writing, because I can’t seem to find the time or the motivation, a part of me is missing.

When do kids start to be more independent again? Maybe then I will get the chance to write – of course then the only issues is will be: is do I dive in or keep sitting in the boat waiting for the right words to rescue me?

 

Well aren’t I just a ray of sunshine today…  perhaps it’s time to get off the boat dive in and at least try and find a little excitement.  It’s only Tuesday and I and not being miss happy.

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2 thoughts on “Rev Your Engine

  1. Kelly Hashway says:

    I’m sorry you are going through a tough time. Finding a job in the writing field is tough. I write and work as an editor. Money is hit and miss and inconsistent, but I do love my job. I think sometimes you have to choose between loving what you do and making the money you want to. I’m hoping one day I’ll make more money, but for now, I’m okay with loving my jobs.

    • M. Ziegler says:

      Thanks 🙂 I don’t know why I wrote such a downer blog other than to share that everyone goes through crap times. It’s one of those “I wish I knew then, what i know now moments.” Either way I can’t start out at the bottom which limits my chances of ever changing career paths. Life and bills get in the way. Maybe sometimes when I break through publishing I can take a chance doing something I would love! Thanks for reading – since I can’t say listening.

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